No problemo, it’s only a level 1 DWI

I am so glad Jen was able to translate “100% no” en Español or we might have slept in an argentine jail.  Luckily, we woke up in a hotel and took a really cold shower. No worries, had the best night of sleep the night before-full five hours. Had breakfast, met with Mercedes and discussed the prior night and off to the bus station to meet up with the other aborigines traveling across Argentina, and their chickens.  The bus ride was five hours from Posados to Iguazu falls and I slept four hours and 55 minutes. I heard the landscape is beautiful but not from Jen because  she slept the full five hours. I did get caught with my hands in my pants on the bus (while sleeping of course). Everyone that knows me knows I sleep with my hands in my pants. On the plane, we have a blanket but on the bus, we did not. Jen knows If we ever get in an accident to immediately pull my hands out so she does not have to explain things to the police or embarrass me at my funeral.

The hotel is absolutely beautiful  (thank you Michael Hegarty).  It is literally an Argentine five-star hotel in the middle of the jungle. Jen felt at home. Mom tried to negotiate the tourism tax at the front desk and actually won the fight because she is retired! Jen and I went to our rooms after paying the 200 pesos, or six dollars. Apparently, the hotel has completely changed since 2013, The last time mom and dad came with the Hegarty’s !

Sidenote, my laptop is completely out of batteries and I am dictating my blog into my phone. Every time I say the word Jen, it puts up an emoji of french fries from McDonald’s. On a seperate side note, I am finishing this on a spanish computer and the keyboard is different.  Not easy.

We got checked in, walked to the pool and I convinced everyone to get a drink. I ordered a gray goose dirty martini, Jen Ordered a coca light, dad ordered a large Malbec and mom ordered a gin and tonic. I took one sip of my martini and realized it was Gin so now I was drinking a double Malbec and dad had the double martini.  He said, “I haven’t had a martini in 6 weeks” and Mom replies “you had a martini 2 days ago” (in snippy voice).

None of us can understand the very simple exchange rate and constantly are questioning each and every bill.  Except my dad, who could care less!  The other thing that’s crazy is how much water they waste in the bathroom. In the US we are worried about 1 L per flush in Europe they believe in "if it’s yellow let it mellow." In Argentina they believe in a full 5 gallon flush. The flush button continuously put water in the toilet until you let go.  Dinner in the dining room was great and me and Jen got to relax early. In the morning-Iguazu Falls. I do want to give props to my mom, who has the entire itenary in a waterproof case and it is always front and center when we need it.  Dad got in trouble and had to pour his opened wine into a water bottle an carry it himself. 

Took a cab to the falls and pay $1200(pesos) which seem like a lot but we were able to get all of the cab drivers information for future cab rides. At the park it was awesome; we did the upper and lower loop. We saw monkeys spiders, crocodiles, raccoon anteaters, butterflies. This is where Mickey and Nancy shine. They trekked 5 miles in 100° heat and did not complain.  I told Jen her mother better act the same way when we go to France in the fall.  Jackie, I know you read this blog.  On the way down to the lower Falls Jen said to dad," it’s harder on the way downhill Mickey, bc it hurts your knees."  Mickey said three words plus 2 back, “no it’s not, Jen you’re wrong.” On the way back, we all agreed dad was right. About halfway up the hill I heard dad say (in his accent) “well-I had a good life.”  Like this was it and if he made it to the top of the hill great, but if not, well that’s ok also. He made it up!(alive)

We saw the place where the Hegarty’s took their family picture and the guy that took it.  Beautiful place Mike !    Dad saw a kid wearing a Boca Junior (soccer)shirt and started talking to him in English asking him if he knew the players in the 1944 Boca team. The kid was 11(and Spanish speaking!).  Dad told him who all the players were.  Back to the hotel and realized our 1200 peso cab ride was round-trip. We almost paid him double (idiots). Dad went swimming and everyone was on standby because each and every stroke he took, he looked like he was drowning. The Argentine crawl, one arm goes up, the other arm stays limp and you have to be really careful not to swim in a circle.  I asked him who tought him to swim that way and he started to explain that in the war he hurt his back badly but come to find out, yes he was technically in the war but the accident occurred on the beach in Rhode Island while driving drunk and he was in the hospital for a few weeks.  Anyway, still not sure I understand why he swims that way other then he took a 1 hour lesson for the crawl at the YMCA and only stayed for 1/2 an hour. 

Mom finally changed stitch on her knitting project   It’s about 7 “ long now.  The aborigines, who literally knitted a full dress in 30 min to sell would spit on her( but she is so cute with her projects and her knitting).   When we got home, it was supposed to be free time, according to the schedule. But, Dad was not allowed to watch the soccer game so I had to report scores to him.  We had cocktails by the pool, took a nap and relaxed. It was awesome!

Got back to room and the "incident" happened.  My wine was gone.  I searched everywhere. I decided to call the front desk and they told me when they know something, they will let me know.  Well played!!!!  Dad felt bad so he decided to buy me a bottle of wine at dinner which I guess I do not understand because we are just signing everything to our room and my credit card is the one that is backing all our transactions.  Nice gesture though.  Still no word. Dinner was great and very relaxed.  Everything is overcooked here, except the eggs and bacon which are barely cooked at all.  Jen and I have been carbo loading for breakfast!