The Last Song

So, watching Manchester United Vs PSG in Champions game in extra time, PSG is wining in aggregate and Dad says,(accent) "Ok, Lets go."  "But Dad, there is only extra time left and our plane is not leaving until 10:50 PM"   Thank God we stayed and saw the Man U goal in extra time and PSG knocked out of the Champions League.  Gave our great porter a nice tip and loaded the crap out of our cab and got to the airport just in time-3 1/2 hours before our flight.   Checked bags and even convinced Mom and Dad to check theirs so we didn't have to cart them around for 3 hours and it was free.  My bag was overweight, but luckily, I saved my 'in country' carry on duffle and pulled it out, loaded my dirty laundry into it and checked it.  I am glad I did not return it to the store in BA.   Through security and at our gate in the nick of time.  I said, "ok, lets get a bite to eat and some wine" and Dad, says, "Ok, I'll have some wine" and Nancy says, "we just ate and why do we need more wine?"  To this I respond, "You guys can do whatever you want but I am eating something since we have not eaten in 6 hours and boarding a plane for 11 hours which is a no brainer on the wine."   We all ordered, except for mom, who was not hungry (see note later) and ordered a bottle of wine.  Watching the way my Dad was drinking and pouring, I immediately saw a potential issue, so I ordered another bottle of wine and I wish I took a picture of my Mom's face.   Finished up most of the wine and took the rest with me to the gate where we easily boarded and had agreed on a seat change that was mutually acceptable to all parties.  Jen was an aisle, I would take a middle (next to Jen so I could guarantee the arm rest and somewhere to sleep against), Dad was behind us in aisle and Mom on the window, next to me.  Once the doors shut, we had a bonus and Jen moved to a free aisle seat the next row over, and I moved out of the middle seat to Jen's old seat.  Mom found my M&M treat and went at them like a squirrel getting into a bird feeder (not hungry, huh?).  After take off, I ordered my wine, Jen ordered her wine (for me) and my Dad tapped me on my shoulder and said, "well played."  The American Way.  Watched A Star is Born and then slept until 7 AM, blanket on, hands in pants, no issues.   Woke up to breakfast and asked the stewardess for a wine, which did not go over well at all (it was just a joke, lol).  Landed, no clapping.  It was killing my Mom and Dad that I was still in shorts and they could not wait for me to change, which I eventually did before we went outside. 

I finally convinced my parents to give me their passports and load them into the mobile passport app on my phone (thank you Abby & Spez!)  We walked out of the plane, passed 1000 people in regular passport lines, to the very front for mobile passports and right to an agent who took us in 10 seconds and said, "Welcome back to the United States of America."  I don't know what was a better feeling:  1.  Circumventing the entire passport line and beating even the handicapped passengers out of terminal or 2.  Coming back to the United States of America from another country.  I asked Mom if she had ever had such an easy experience and she said, "well, in Ireland, we ......."  I call BS.  Home in the car packed like sardines and deciding if we should follow Waze or Momz but not a lot of traffic, so it was breezy.  Dropped off  my parents and Picked up Denali, which Mike and Kelli were borrowing and left it so clean and full fuel (thanx guys).  Home to CT and back to the grind!

Argentina Trip Summary

• Soccer game on every TV at anytime of day
• No wine allowed for take away after 9 or 11 (weekends)
• No auto bathroom flushers (if they did have, and one broke, it could run the city out of water)
• No need for plungers in Argentina because of powerful flush
• Carry napkins with you, you may need them ladies
• Empanadas are all good and you can get anywhere, anytime (like Pizza in NY)
• Eggs and Bacon are the only things undercooked
• Mate is a social, delicious drink that EVERYONE drinks
• Argentines are super friendly and super helpful
• Buenos Aires is not any more dangerous than any other City
• There are no common sense driving rules
• Argentina has #MeToo, although Men call their wives, their women (mi mujer)
• Inflation is crazy, and in an afternoon the Peso can swing so much it hurts
• Not super handicapped friendly
• Very lax security at airports and you can carry drinks through security (they have to allow because everyone drinks Mate)
• They killed their Indians also, but they speak very positively and give props about their indigenous people
• They have cowboys but they look more like French Chefs in berets, not gunfighters
• General Upkeep of facilities is pretty far off par
• Ski towns are not built near mountains
• Rental insurance does not cover hail, rollovers or stealing cars and they have a VERY thorough orientation process
• They pass on double yellow lines as if they were not there
• The traffic lights turn from Red to Yellow and then to Green, like a drag race start and everyone jumps the gun and goes when the light is still red(which is the opposite to here, where we run the yellow lights)
• Wifi everywhere and easy to hook up
• Everyone uses Whatsap to text
• They take Amex pretty much everywhere
• There does not seem to be any emissions laws
• There are certainly no blight laws
• Tremendous electrical issues everywhere
• There are protests daily
• No iced coffee
• No take away coffee but they use warm milk
• Major Banco issues, and they charge a huge vig to take money out of ATMs(like $30!)and the lines at the banks are crazy until they run out of money which is usually around 11 am
• Milenese on the menu usually means veal
• They love and listen to American / English music
• Their IPA is IPE
• Olives are on everything
• Dogs are on the loose (Sueltos)
• No one has a bigger phone then the iphone 5
• They have corrupt politicians, just like us
• No Black folks (except our awesome porter)
• Argentines are normal looking-Fat, skinny, tall, short, blonde, dark haired, dressed nice, dressed down (like Americans)
• Check in and Check out procedures are not smooth.  They lack efficiency
• No preppy dress (no vineyard vines)
• Their biggest car is our smallest car
• Their cars use a secondary natural gas cylinder 
• Their belts are Really Thick and I do not think our belt loops could handle them
• They like Diego Maradona better then Messi(soccer)
• They do not watch or care about Soccer teams outside of the county
• You can get a churro with dulce del leche while at a stop light
• They do not "break" their horses, they erotically massage them

A shout out to all my followers, I appreciate your support and comments.  Also a big thank you to Paula Benchimol for planning, Kathy and Pat Ford for watching my babies (none of this is possible without you), the crew at the marina for handling business and keeping me in the loop, Liz and Mike for holding the black briefcase while dad was gone, Jen for putting up with me, and Mom and Dad for taking this adventure with us. 

The Real Reason Dad Left Argentina in 1948

Travel day which is a big deal as there is a lot of pent up turmoil until we are set in new environment (Peter knows what I mean).  I got up and made both our beds today (twin beds).  I was a little concerned because it appeared Jen had bed bugs or something on her bed.  Do I investigate further?  I have been sleeping here for 3 days or do I ignore?  My usual bed bug policy is don't look, ever.  Luckily it turned out to be chocolate crumbs from Jen's very special treat.   Our planned departure was at 10 am and Jen started off on the wrong foot being 30 minutes late.  (Jen--bc I was proofing the blog!!!) Today the 7 lake drive into the Andes again and close to the border of Chili.  I had to wear my dress pants because I ripped my second and final pair of jeans the night before all because I left my belt in BA and it is FREEZING Here.  I am getting to be a great Argentine driver and my dad calls it Brooklyn driving.  Jen is a good Brooklyn driver also.   Bariloche is a huge ski town but we have yet to see a ski mountain anywhere in sight.  All the shops sell skis, pictures of skiing but no ski mountains.  We are going to investigate further today.  There are speed humps and speed ditches all over the place and every morning, I forget and launch Nancy and Mickey in the back seat.  Shout out to Nanny and Uncle John-- when I was driving them and hit a railroad crossing in Athens and for 1/2 a second they felt what it was like to have no gravity until their necks broke their fall on the roof of the car--will never forget that.   Every intersection here is like a Mexican standoff as there does not seem to be any concrete intersection rules.  The best I can tell is it is sailboat racing rules where starboard tach gets right of way, but that is just a guess.  Oh, I would like to say that the Spanish people here have the white people take care of their lawns, but that is not the case.   I also love that at any given intersection, you can buy dulce de leche churros delivered right to your car. 

While driving, I have been practicing my Spanish and Jen says to me, "boy I wish I wrote down all the stupid stuff you said since we got married, I would have a huge book!"  Oh, thanks Jen.   We both have decided to take Spanish lessons when we get home and I want to take piano lessons again but do not want to learn to read music, just to play cool songs, like Billy or Elton did.  Jen says, "great, so you can play your chill, light FM music on the piano instead of playing it on the stereo?"    We are going to be in the car for 6 hours so we have to talk about something.  Car is making some funny noises and showing a code 24  which concerns me a bit but as long as we don't roll this bitch we are good.   The 7 Lakes drive brings you to 7 remote lakes in the Andes, Patagonia and is a full day.  At the fork in the road, we summoned the invisible swordsman and found the singing bush and pushed on.  (Three Amigos) At lake 6, Dad says, "OK, well lets go back."  "Seriously Dad, let's finish this day," and we do.  Every  time we stop at an overlook to see one of the lakes, Mom points out to Jen where the pot holes are so we don't hit them.  Dad and I had beers at lunch so I am off the hook.  After my afternoon siesta, which has become a daily occurrence, I hear my dad, who I thought was sleeping, sitting on back seat, passenger side yell "go now!"--this is an alert for Jen to pass the car in front of us over a double yellow line.   For my dad, this is a 14 lake drive because on the way back he says, "look at this lake" (same one we saw on way in).   Jen is a great tour guide, except she cursed twice and we did not see any animals.   There is some kind of Chorizo Pig or Deer that is 20cm tall and I really want to see one.  I love looking over at Jen and seeing here drinking her Coca Lite in a 2 liter bottle (She is a thirsty girl).    I couldn't get into the dinner place I wanted, but found a place close which was great until they started setting up a heavy metal live band right next to us.  If you could have seen mom and dad's face, it painted quite a picture. 

Ok, so apparently, they build huge ski towns but not near the mountains?  It looks like Switzerland here but weird that the ski town is 1 hour from the mountains.   Today, we are shopping until noon, airport to BA for our last night in Argentina.  Dad and I shop alike for wine but I have been looking for shoes that are different and he literally called me a girl to the shop owner.  He said, "you shop like a girl."  The best is when we are in a shop an he walks in and says in English (with Spanish accent), "I am the translator."  The faces on the shop clerks are classic.  Walking with him is like walking with Mr. Magoo, if you remember that show. 

Got to the airport with no issues but had to have the rental car checked out and it is an extensive procedure which was good because Jen could spend time finding out where Dad lost his passport!  Found it.  I am going to hold all passports from now on.   We had  a nice talk with an Argentine girl named Lucia on the plane and she filled in the blanks on a lot of our questions.  They do have #METOO and its called, well I couldn't understand what she said because she whispered it to me.  We learned all about Mate and realized, we could have been smoking it the whole time, go figure.

Back to the Savoy which has been great for us and our porter is awesome and we have our own room and a shit ton of luggage (see pic).   Just in time for Champions League and watching Real Madrid fall (sorry Javi).    Did you ever see the movie, Rainman?  Remember when they had to find The People's Court for Dustin Hoffman to watch? 

Tonight we had the "Argentine Experience" and it was.   We learned how to make an empanada, order meat in Spanish, drink Mate, yell at people, etc.  Probably should have done this day ONE, but live and learn.  They wined the crap out of us but started hard, with white.  Dad (who did not quite understand what we were doing there) said to the waiter, "how many empanadas do I have to make in order to get a Malbec?"  They killed us all with the top off method of wine pouring, so you cannot even track how many glasses you drink.  I had about 1000 sips and mom and dad had enough to sleep all night long.  We sat next to a Columbian and Mexican couple but Jen did not have the courage to ask them the hard question.  Its our last night anyway. 

In AM, free time and plan to check out at noon, walk to cemetery to see Evita (Eva Perrone), back for Champions soccer game at 5 (which we had to pre arrange to watch at Savoy Bar), drinks, airport in huge car to fit all our crap and a little shopping.  Woke up and did our last day of Carb loading (eggs here are so wet).  Now is where the title comes in.  Dad told us the story of why he left Argentina in 1948.  He was working as a postal carrier and on pay day, they took one day of his pay (involuntarily) and said it was for the Evita Foundation, per executive order.  Dad said to himself, "I have to get out of this country." Mom did not even know this story.  Jen and I wanted to steal the fresh flowers off her extravagant grave site as payback.   We didn't, but one more day here and we could have.  I found out what type of Grave I wanted and I contracted JMT construction to build for me (sorry Wendy, you and Ark may be in the shadows, lol).  The Cemetery was like nothing we had ever seen.   I tried to get everyone a nice gift but it always makes me feel like, hey, here is a shirt that says Argentina to remind you of the awesome trip of a lifetime I took while you were working.    Back to Savoy and really enjoying the protests.  This one looked like a St. Patricks Day Parade.  We did see the biggest tree (Literally and laterally) I have ever seen.  In hotel, watching PSG V Man U and then off to Airport.   It was 95 today. 

GOOD NEWS: We finally found the GD paper, last day! 

BUSTED-The POLICIA finally got JEN!

We have been hunting for the New York Times for what seems like weeks now.  Every stand, library, fruit stand (looking for prunes also), Farmacia (and there are a shit ton of those), "hey, stop the car" says Mickey (in accent)—and Jen gets out with him for the search (can’t let Mickey out by himself or we will lose him for a while). I stay in the car and try and keep Mom from getting out to try and see whats taking so long.  It is crazy town.  Today we got close; a store clerk told us about a stand that has the paper we want.  We followed the really tough to understand directions to the place and it was closed.  You see, I am in a dilemma on which is harder, finding the right paper or teaching my Dad to use the Ipad that I subscribe to the NY Times for (for him only).  I still am so impressed that this man reads the NY Times front to back every day.  You have to be retired to complete that task.

Anyway, onto the Aconcagua drive from Mendoza-5+ hours into the Andes to the tallest peak in South America.  You basically are driving through the Andes mountains that separate Argentina from Chile.  I wish I bought the souvenir scarf from the women who lost their children in BA because I could use it RIGHT NOW to gag everyone in the car as I am driving out of town.  Car driving lessons are going well and mom is really teaching me some stuff.  NOT!  I was very happy to give the driving to Jen but in the 10 minutes she was driving, the PO PO finally got her (no lights on which is the law of the country) or as we call them Jamon or peurco (Ham or Pork).  We were able to get out of it and did not even have bribe the officer.  I was proud of Jen for how she handled the authority, it could have gone a different way.  Mom never yells at Jen when she drives which is usually after Dad and I have been drinking!  What an awesome day and great idea from Dad, who read the 4"  thick Argentina book yesterday morning.  The drive was beautiful, and even though I did not see a chinchilla or a llama, I was content at the end of the day.  If I go back, I will take the raft ride down the Rio Mendoza and Mountain Bike around the Lake.  Both were off the table on this trip.

In the morning, we were off to Bariloche on an mutually agreed upon depart time of 7:30AM,  but take close notice to the pictures below taken of Jen blowdrying her hair at 7AM (30 min ahead of schedule) and mom and dad, standing at the door, packed with jackets and backpacks on (also at 7AM!).  Airport-no issues, return car-no issues, checked bags-no issue, poles through security-no issue, board, fly, land, connect, board, fly, land, get bags-no issue.  Rental car #2-Met with a little issue as they wanted to hit my amex for 17k as a deposit.  I talked my way out of it "pretending I don't speak fluent Spanish", bags to car, walk through on large new car which was scratched everywhere, had a bullet hole in it and a replacement value of 35k(for an $8000 car!) but went ok, surprisingly.  The car is insured as long as car does not roll over, or get stolen (not sure if gun shots are covered).   No worries, its El Classico (soccer Real Madrid Vs Barcelona) day and Dad, Jen and I are wearing our Jerseys ready for the big game.  Checked in our Air BNB or what we told Dad was a hotel (he doesn't get why someone would rent us their apartment, how we met them, how we paid, etc. ) Awesome, unbelievable, overlooking the water in the hills down a 1/2 mile dirt road, 12 steep steps and a porch that may fall down hill at anytime.  Went to bar called Friends to watch the game, mom and dad on one side of table watching one tv and Jen and myself on the other side watching another TV on opposite wall.  Jen says,"Mickey do you want to switch seats with me so you can watch next to John?" and he replies, "I'll have the hamburger with nothing on it and fries."

Mom befriended the table next door and the family from Chile will be coming this year for Christmas.   I think I overheard mom agreeing to have Michael and Kelli host the high school kid for a year.  Mom's Spanish was on fleek!(unless she agreed to above).  They got the whole enchilada, which is what I call--the place where dad grew up Missiones (Posadas), move to US at 18, trip back to Argentina in '69 and '13 and Mikaela visiting Gibraltar and playing soccer.  Then onto the places they have been in common.  I admire their way they travel.  To the market and then home for the night.  No American Tv (remember, we are in South America) so I put on the Movie, OLYMPUS HAS FALLEN on my laptop, set up mom and dad and gave a brief Synapsis of how Gerard Butler, a secret service agent, who lost one POTUS in the opening scene (wasn't his fault), came back in a few years later and saved the White House from being taken by a radical group.  I felt like I was in the movie, Say Anything, when Lloyd Dobler and Diane Court set up the movie Cocoon for the retired home and have to explain the whole thing.  They both seemed to really like the movie.

On a side note, Thanks Abby and Spez for helping me with the VPN, NOT,  IT SUCKS!  (VPN allows you to trick the TV into thinking you are in the US so you can watch US TV for everyone over the age of 25).  I will also shout out to Abby and Spez touring in Venice. I had to buy their lunch because Spez texted me a copy of the menu unsure of what type of wine he would like as they do not have Pinot Noir (they do not have Apothic Red, apparently), and I chose one from the list.  Well I guess I picked the most expensive one, as they did not send me the prices, so I can see how this is my fault completely.  I also talked them out of stealing a boat after they asked me how I hot-wire one (I was so proud to tell Abby how to hot wire any boat in 10 seconds and thought for a split second, maybe she would want to take over family business.  and then asked myself, "why is she asking that??).

Woke up in the middle of the night, sweating like I was in a turkish prison, and decided to open the unscreened window (fingers crossed I got the right shots at the travel clinic).  I knew it wasn't dad screwing with the thermostat because he did that in Mendoza when he woke up at 2am and turned off the air-conditioner; he was cold.  The system in this place was way too complicated for him to do that.  Woke up again to find dad reading the 4" Argentina tour book and telling us all the awesome things we could have done in Mendoza, YESTERDAY.  Great info Pop, just 36 hours too late.

RETRACTION on the french press gift from the last blog.  The actual gift was given to me by KC not Sarah, BUT Sarah showed me how to use it and I am sure Sarah helped KC as Sarah is a huge coffee drinker and KC is not.  Sorry if I offended anyone with the mis-information.

Shout out to Bridgett for turning 21 (although I thought she was 23 as she has been drinking at my house for many years) and to Bren Dog fro turning 18.  I am so proud of both of you and I never thought you would make it this far.  Kieren on the other hand, I am a little disappointed in you and a little more in Betty.  I heard through a somewhat reliable source that you Pee'd three times on poor Betty, Seriously?  I always go to the bathroom after my second pee dream-And Betty, after time #1, why did you not leave? Are you like, "he never does it twice" and then after that, "he would never do it at third time!"  You are still sleeping in PEE from the first time.  I wish I was celebrating with you all in BOSTON! #howlatthemoon  Also, to Lil Alex, I will get you that Patagonia hat for 30 pesos. (T-bone I also heard you left your credit card for the bar tab-Rookie move!  That is a life lesson that I have learned a few times).

Today was the first time my Dad ever paid to get on a boat in Argentina.  The other 7 times he was a stowaway.  We took a 1938 boat to an island in the middle of the lake and were to hike the trails in the national park.  This is what the poles were for!  The hike was 70 Meters on a boardwalk where the poles were actually dangerous because the cracks in the floor were so thick.   They had a really cool Arboretum that had a tree from every obscure place on earth planted to see how the environment would handle.  There was nothing from Columbia and Mexico, which I was looking hard for.  We are down to fumes and anyone that knows the real story of the Jews and the Menorah will pray for us.  I am licking oils.  On the positive side, Dad always wanted to see the redwoods (Sequoias) and had not until today in Argentina where they planted a bunch.

Jen and I went throughout the boat extensively as our plan is to sell our house and buy a touring boat and make it our house.  We were walking around and laying out our living room, kitchen, bedrooms, movie theater and wine cellar.  Most of the people were just watching us in bewilderment--operation House Boat and NO MORE TAXES.  I finally found as close to an American IPA bar as you can find outside of the USA.  Inside it looked like an American pub with American music, and a bunch of IPA's.  I ordered 2 right off the bat (the American way) because I saw it was busy and that thru them for a loop.  It said 7.3% but that has to be incorrect, it was way lower or my threshold has increased substantially (flip of a coin).  Dinner was awesome, best so far.  The name of the place Manush and I highly recommend.  Back to house where we only had one bottle of wine left but it was no contest as I beat my dad down the rickety steps in the dark to claim the bottle.  Sorry dad, getting old sucks.

Tomorrow on to the 7 lakes drive which will be in next blog.

The nice thing about Argentina is there is (or appears to be) no zoning laws, EPA, enforcement of any type, security, etc.  There is literally no Spanish translation for blight. 

Traveling in these foreign countries is really awesome and seeing how other people live is a great perspective.  The best part is how proud they are about their heritage and country.   I know there is a lot of negativity about the US and you can say what you want about The United States, but in every single instance and every single place, product, item, etc, , you give me the best anywhere else and I will give you a match or better in the USA.  I am proud of our country like everyone here is proud of theirs.  #America

Shout out to John and Jen-March; Anniversary of buying marina 21 years ago and yes Chris Craft I have my phone and laptop and am working while on my vacation.