Saturday, November 2, 2019

Jessee's mean face cools the room!


"Hey John, do you think I am underdressed for dinner in my Tommy Bahama lounge wear?" Alex asked.  "No, I think you will be alright, Tyrone will most likely be wearing a wine stained undershirt," I replied.   Then Tyrone enters dressed to the nines in dress shoes, button down, Showered!, --Yeah Al, lounge wear might be a little informal.  On a side note, Ali is once again meddling with her daughter's love life and interestingly enough, she and Ty have found an Irishman from Northern Ireland who might just fit the bill.  After small talk and then exchanging of pictures of their daughter (after they cropped Brenna out of the picture), Jen walks over to warn the young man, that our nick name for Bridgett is the Irish Car Bomb.  Unbeknownst to her, when you say "Irish Car Bomb" to a Northern Irelander, it is game on.  Maybe not the best relationship, but at least Tyrone made a friend.    I was walking down to steerage with Tyrone and Ali last night when I hear from across the ship, “What’s up Mother Fucker” being yelled by what looked like an officer and a waiter.   Just one of Ty’s friends from the bar. 

Happy Halloween everyone, and I forgot my Gorilla Costume but we had a great day touring and now at the lounge getting our pregame on for the big Halloween party.  You see, we now have an issue brewing because Ali has been really flirting with Mr. Wonderful, who now knows how to read Jenny and there is literally a plate of limes sitting on the table.  Tyrone has fancied himself with Oksana, (who still hates me) and to make things worse, they are both drinking.  Luckily Tyrone is not a jealous guy (lol).    As this fairy tale brews, I want to shout out to Brooke and Abby and all the kids on Halloween.  I also want to say, I will miss adult trick or treating with Glenn and the LA crowd this year.    To be honest with you, I don’t get why Oksana is so mean to me.  These Russian Girls do not take shit, even on a cruise where everyone kisses your ass.  I have 4 days left to win her affection or get slapped in the face.    Jackie did say, if a Russian tells you to go with her, you must obey.    The Party started heating up and Tyrone was in Rare (normal) form.  He danced with everyone, sang a song, you can imagine the rest.   Then I hear him yell across the dance floor (keep in mind we are the youngest people on a cruise with average age of 80).  “Hey, Al Pacino!”   Now we go into a full Italian name contest yelling every possible Italian slang word for the waiter who looks Italian but is actually from Bulgaria.   Jen made us go to bed at 10:30 PM.

The next morning breakfast came quick and I saw something I have never seen before.   Jessee came to the table and we got a new waiter and she asked for her normal ice cream for desert and he said, “oh, you needed to order that when you first got here, they may not be any left.” The asshole waiter exclaimed.  I was immediately transferred from the Turkish Prison to the Arctic Circle with Jessee’s look.   Jessee stood up and said, "don’t you worry, I will go ask the head chef for myself! "  I have never seen this from Jessee and enjoyed every moment.  If I could go back in time, I would like to see that face and capture it on my camera—Radio Gold.  Our normal waiter, who must have felt the stress in the dining room came over and got Jessee her Ice Cream and 10 min later when the asshole came back with ice cream, it became very awkward.  We do not speak to him anymore.   Out for the walk in town.  We decided to sign up for the fast walk (with healthier faster walking folks), which consequently became the slow walk as Jackie’s "slow" group was in front of us.   Hiked to the top of a hill and saw Roman structures from 100 BC.  Back to boat in the nick of time for lunch.   We all went our separate ways and met up at the bar that afternoon for a bloody Mary and more wine.  When I piss now, it is red wine and I think Tyrone cut himself and Ali drank his blood and it was Pinot Noir.  Ali and Tyrone, god forbid if they actually sell their house are going to do everything.  We will go on that trip, once we sell our house.   Basically, it has become, fill in the blank,  We will definitely go/do __________________ once we sell our house. 

Funny bit of new news, everyone knows about Jessee and each waiter and waitress is now kissing her ass everytime they walk by.   Gossip spreads quick on this boat.  It might have been Tyrone at the after party. 

The VIP party for anyone that has cruised before was being set up and guess who was front and center, not only taking the best seats, but holding 6 or the 8 we had? The real VIP’s were sitting on folding chairs behind us.   We enjoyed the VIP talk and all decided we would love it if J & S bought us a cruise every year.    We all had Martinis but mine was the best.  Dinner, Party, Rest, Wake, Breakfast (bed time was 10:30 PM).   By the way, I have only scored 10’s on my behavior this whole week (except for Paris but that is being disputed).   Early walk through the town where the guy that created the suspension bridge lived.  I’d like to punch that mother fucker in the face every time I go over the George Washington (even though it is not suspension).  Beautiful town and we rode a real steam train (James would love it).   Back to the boat in time to hear our names announced as missing, but in time, nonetheless.   I got a nice sweater and Tyrone got shoes and a shirt.  Ali got a pocket book and I think a gift for Mr. Wonderful.   Lunch and Nap and here we are.  I would like to shout out to Dave Anderson for selling a boat, Julian and Annie for their anniversary and Alex, who ended up not having anything to do while his parents paid Abby to watch Brooke.   More to come soon.  BTW, yes that is Tyrone wearing the chef hat while trying to gift his daughter to a northern Ireland Chef.  



















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