We set our departure time for high noon and everything was going to plan until Mickey came to our room at 11 and said, "time to go" (in accent). I said, porque? (trying to make a joke) and he looked at Jen laying in bed, who had not showered yet and walked out. At 11:50, I made it with bags up to get a cab and Jen rolled in at 12:00 on the nose. If looks could kill, she would be DEAD! Off to the airport in Iguazu for our flight back to BA and here is where the shit show started. We think dad could pass for an Argentine with a little work. I do not look like a tourist at all!
Side note-We have been dealing with Dads trekking poles and at one place the guy told mom they would not be able to bring on plane and they would have to check bags. This has been an issue because the poles do not fit in the bags and if there was ever an airport you did not want to check you bag for potential loss, this was it. Now we have to have mom's suitcase saran wrapped with the poles sticking out and check the bag. I offered many times to get the poles with me through and on the plane but that was not going to happen. They do not even check your passport with your boarding pass. Its fine, not worth the argument, even though we had it multiple times. There is no other airport more disorganized than this one and they only have 2 gates. The airport holds 250 people and we were surrounded by 500 people. We finally got Dad and Mom a seat because we were 2 hours early for the flight and then lined up for security which was really not security and very lax. Once we left the main waiting room, we entered the Gate waiting room which contained 200 seats and there were 500 people there just standing in random lines. Then it started to downpour, no planes in and no planes out, complete and utter shut down (not to mention the power going on and off all the time). I immediately sprang into action and went back out through security to commandeer some food. Went to the cafe and got the last 3 empanadas, 4 drinks and a brownie for Jen after fighting with every disgruntled traveler delayed for hours. I literally took the last one from a mother and small child. I went back to security and they said, sorry, we are full. I thought for a second about just sitting down, enjoying the food and maybe getting a wine but decided to leverage my way in where Jen had 4 seats together out of the cattle drive. I sat down and handed out the food and Mom asked what type of empanada I got and I said, IDK, eat it. She was hoping for ham and cheese. Mom befriended a few people and I am sure they will be getting xmas cards this December.
Finally after about 1.5 hours they said something very quietly and everyone got in some sort of line but no rhyme or reason. Jen picked one line and Mom picked the other one. I don't know if either were right but with dad, we were waiting in a line of some sort. Jen was wrong--Mom 1 Jen 0. Mom got into a cat fight with the lady in line with her because she "cut" the line when in actuality, she was just doing the "Argentine Way" (you will learn what this is soon). On the plane with no one sitting between either one of us (thank you Paula) and after about 1 hour, we take off. Thank God we did not get cancelled because it would have made this shit show a complete f ing shit show. Jen got yelled at because she put her seat back 1" before they said we could (although they do not do some many announcements on these planes). Now anyone that knows Jen, knows that "No one tells Jen what to do." so that seat was not going back, no matter what. Listen, I was just happy to be on the plane, everything else was just noise to me.
After our first bit of turbulence when the plane shook like the wings were going to fall off, I tightened my belt and put my wallet in my pocket so they could identify my body. These things are not even headlines in the US, unless you are a star soccer player (which I am but have not been discovered yet). After the second 20' turbulence drop, I said to my dad, "now is an appropriate time to say, "Well (accent) I had a good life" It was so rough, I only slept 1.5 hours of the 2 hour flight.
We landed and thank the good lord, got our bags. They were soaking wet, like they left them in the rain, but beggars cannot be choosers. Now the "Argentine way" story- I did not need to ask directions (against a few people's suggestions) as I followed the signs and pictures for a cab (visual clues and again, all airports are the same). We got into the taxi line and waited for the guy to get us the next available cab (as that is how it works), not , he was hailing cabs in front of the guy paid to hail cabs and when that fight broke out, he said, this is the Argentine way. Apparently, you cut lines, and do whatever you need to in order to complete task, hence, "the Argentine way." Translation: Ventajista.
Now the Great Spanish (Vosotros) Fight-and I have to call it as I saw it: Mom 1 Jen 1 (good job honey, you were right about conjugating vosotros--Dad and I drank wine). We got to hotel Savoy and went to our rooms but Dad pulled me aside to whisper to me, "we need to get get some wine"-NO SHIT! We then proceeded on the Great Prune Hunt. I don't need to explain why we needed to find prunes for one of our travelers but apparently he needs 7 per day. After about 10 shops we got them (thanks Jen). It took a while because Jen would ask in Spanish to the clerks and then Dad would follow up with the same person in English. We found Olives, figs, plums, raisins (white and red), multiple juices, etc. All I wanted was to drink 2 large beers and wine (see pic). We actually got "Argentine Wayed" a few times in the process. I wont even talk about how f'd up the check out process is in this country. They have the garbage problem licked, the water pressure is tremendous (even when flushing the toilet), check out procedures, not so much. Mom told Jen that my blog is Fake News b/c she did not ask an ice cream man a question-but she did!
Called KK and had a nice chat with Sarah and Leslie and got great presents for Elcimar and Beto--Boca Juniors Cologne to make them play better soccer. There is a soccer game on everywhere here. My dad says there are 30 teams in BA, the most in any city. The soccer is fun to watch and I know my dad likes it. He was a number ocho player (inside midfield). I wanted to make a shout out to Mike B as he should be happy I did not take his number 6 in high school and I took 66 even though I was a better player then him, lol.
Side thought-I am going to come up with a titan games for dogs. I think it would be a big hit-Glenn, get on it.
We did not get to see Leticia, she was too tired but maybe next week. Today we took a tour of La Bombarano, Boca Jrs. soccer stadium. It was nice but not even close to Real Madrid or Barca and not a lot about Maradona. I bought a Jersey and Dad finally found someone that knew the 1944 squad. The very most importante person in Argentina is San Martin and the tour guide told us he was born in BA but what she did NOT know was that Monica, My dads BF, spent his entire life in and out of jail as a journalist researching that he (San Martin)was actually born in Misiones(where my dad and Monica were born). The travel agent asked for his contact info so he very well might be heading back to jail at 89. He did give my dad a crap ton of documentation about his research. The tunnels were closed due to repair (thanks Erin) but probably better because the building they started at looked like it was about to fall down. Walk back to hotel, smoked a cigar and out to dinner tonight. Oh, I got a new purse!
Mate-"a delicious blend of herbs and spices in a hand made cup (made of some old fruit) that everyone shares with a dirty spoon/straw" More to come on this disgusting habit but I know Erin and Chris would love it.
Man John...a swear you are crazy, cant stop laughing. the worse part is that I can see it just like you write it and I feel you. I swear, hahhhaaaa you guys are crazzzyyyyyy
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