Havana Day 1

Woke up to the sound of water against and wind, which was awesome.  Usually when you open the sliding door of your stateroom, the air conditioner shuts off, making it unbearable to sleep but this boat is so old, it does not have that feature.  Bottom line, great sleeping!  I was a little concerned a rat would come in through door like the rats on Titanic but did not see any.   It’s a little rough out and this is not a huge boat so it moves around a lot.  For shits and giggles, I would love to see how a muster drill would do with the boat rocking like this and the old people trying to move around in their life jackets.  I’m sure it would go smoothly, NOT.  Went for our walk upstairs.  This time we were adding the upstairs and around the back of boat and back down stairs as part of our 65 laps.

We picked up a friend who was 76 years old and just had a heart attack.  At first, he would walk the track and he would wait for us at the bottom of the steps but then started going up and down with us.  Really nice guy from North Carolina, carpenter, married 55 years, 2 kids, etc.  The great thing is that Jen is the hottest girl on the boat which is attracting a lot of male attention and hence us making a lot of new friends.  It seems a lot are using us as inspiration for working out so we think we are going to pick up people all week.  Tomorrow we are going to bring an AID defibrillator with us, in case any of our companions “need it.”  CLEAR!

We met our maid or attendant, Helga this morning.  She is hardy and a foot taller than me. 

I finally realized why everything on these old people cruises is all inclusive, tips included; because if they didn’t include the tips, they wouldn’t get the tips. 

WIFI sucks because it is free and everyone is on it.  I went to see if I could get fixed but there were 10 old people with their phones in front of me.  This is equivalent to shutting down the GW bridge for a day, not waiting, not worth having wifi.  I just then realized they could not charge for wifi or every one of these old people who do not know how to use devices would complain the whole time.  It is actually ingenious by the cruise to give it for free.  It is crap but its free and they eat it up and cannot complain. 

Mom is heading to another lecture while we head to get our massage and we can catch up before we dock in Havana. 

My massage therapist’s name was Olga and that should pretty much describe her to you.  She used enough oil on me to fry a turkey and had to shower when done which indecently almost didn’t happen because I almost slipped and cracked my head open from the oil.  I forgot how much I like the generation of men that have no problem showering and walking around a locker room with their dongs hanging out.  They literally will have a conversation with you like they were at the copy machine. 

Finished massage and caught a quick lunch all before the captain could dock in Havana because it was so windy.  Everyone on this cruise is really nice and easy to talk to.   We have made a lot of friends (even Jen).  Of course our tour got cancelled and they blamed it on Trump but how the F can you confirm or not this?  I wanted to go to the counter and tell them I called the White House and that was not the case but I do not think these foreigners get my humor.  Anyway, off the boat is like a cattle herd of old cattle needing walkers and chairs walking really slow.  The line to change currency was crazy long so we bypassed and just headed into the town.  Following Nancy, who went to the lectures, we saw old Havana and were doing good until Uncle Bills foot quit working in mid stride.  They decided to go back and get ready for our next dinner excursion and Jen and I went for a walk.  We walked around and ended up in a bar called the Floridia, which turns out to be a famous bar Hemmingway used to write at.   I took my picture there and hope it helps me write my blog better (another write off opportunity).  They even have a spot dedicated to him.  Listened to music and had a few drinks before we got completely lost on way back to dinner at Ship.  Nancy said dinner at 630 on the dot and I am sure she was there at 615 waiting.  We left the bar at 620, got lost and to boot, Jen had 2 Mojito’s and was a lot tipsy.  After our normal fast walk and through customs, we got back by 635.  NOT BAD!

Side note, watching Mickey almost get hit by a bus while trying to look at a 50 chevy was a little scary.  

Wondering how we bought drinks without changing money?  We found a bank  in town and asked the “bouncer” outside if we could change money (all in Spanish-Jen).  He said yes and we did but later on we figured he said “bend over” in Spanish and we did not understand as our exchange rate was not great. 

Anyway, back for dinner, shower, try and get my money from the beverage package (today was a loss for me but I won yesterday) and onto the show at the Hotel International for a Cuba show.  What a show.  Crazy costumes, crazy routines and a great plot (actually, not sure about the plot as I did not understand anything).  Had a few Mojitos and Cervesas and scored an A+ for the night!  Walked Mickey to the bathroom and he took the attendants towel, etc and said “John, tip him.”  Lucky I had money with me and I felt like Sancho Panza.  Lucky I went with him as he went the wrong way on the way out.  We got home at midnight and waited for mom and dad at all the check points only to yell down the hall, “goodnight mom” as she bolted to her room.  We had every intention of getting up at 615 am to walk but that will come up in next blog.