Cuba, the last day!

Cuba, the final day!

Relaxing to the large warm hands of a stout, husky, handsome German woman and a hot rock massage is the best way to start the day.  I must have fallen asleep a few times and woke up my self-snorting like a pig.  Anyway, great massage.  I wanted to ask for 30 minutes on my left foot and 30 minutes on my right butt but thought that would be a weird request.   Late breakfast and the usual egg white omelet without the large spoon of lard in the pan and berries.  The food servers are a little stingy with the food and sometimes you have to ask for a second blueberry but something is different today. 

Made a bet with Jen for a 10 min foot massage about the proverb, "squeaky wheel gets the grease (oil)" and we tied.  Both are acceptable.  Ironic we bet for a 10 min. foot massage 5 minutes before we were headed to an actual massage by a pro.  Also, took a picture of the FCB hand made logo one of the police guards gave me when I was wearing my FCB shirt.  He actually hand colored it and had it in his wallet. I wanted to give him money but thought that might not go over good.  

Last night we got “black listed” at the main dining room and they took our room numbers.  Mysteriously, the crew seem to know who we are today.  I might have to make it rain at dinner to ensure my food is “clean.” 

Onto the walk-50 times up and down and we decided to try and not look at the clock because time goes so slow when you do. Unfortunately, there are 20 clocks in the loop and we travel 50 times around so it is hard. 

Finished up just in time for lunch.  Seems like we are going to meals for 2 hours and the time between meals is now less time than the meals themselves.  Still not having dessert for breakfast and not taking the elevators--proud of us for exercising every day.  After lunch it was time for our afternoon siesta but it was freezing on the deck so we covered ourselves with towels to stay warm.  This is good for me because I can put my hand in my pants for my nap and no one knows.  I wish I had a urinal so I could piss without having to get up and maybe the steward would pick up and empty for me but Jen said no. 

They had music on the deck (70’s Billy Joel and Elton) and Jen overheard a lady complaining that the music sucked on this cruise and wanted to lodge a formal complaint on the quality of the background music(not Cuban enough for a Cuban cruise).  Crazy, people still sweat the small stuff, especially after coming from Cuba where the people’s idea of top 20 is a steel drum band they made from the water delivered once every two weeks to their house.  First world problems are all over this boat. 

I did find someone who sleeps with their mouth more wide open than Jen and I took a picture of her from 100 yards away and it is still viewable.  Woke up in time for tea and crumpets (actually caramel in a pie crust) with Mom and Dad while listing the orchestra play the music to the Titanic (ironic because the captain just announced we are in the middle of the ocean between Cuba and Miami and in 7000 feet of water).  The one thing I do know for sure is that if the boat does go down and anyone survives, it will be me and Jen.  Human shields are everywhere on this cruise.  Mom and Dad asked us to another cruise which we would love to go but not to the places they want to go.  Cambodia, Vietnam, India, etc. are way lower on our list but they have been everywhere else already.  When I asked my Dad to go to Ireland or England or even Scotland, he said, “…we were already there…”

Shaver still works!

To the 9^th Dick with my cigar buddies (Dick, Dan, Harry and Bill).  We drank single malt, discussed the tax bill and politics(reminiscing about the good old Tip O'Neill Regan days) and then set off to shower for dinner.  I am going to miss them the most.  The people on this ship are all friendly and I know a ton of them.   They all live in FL 6 months and somewhere else other times but travel extensively.  Last dinner tonight and then the show then the cruise is over.  I have packed and will put my bag out tonight (mom and dad will carry theirs out with them). 

Cant wait to see Abby who is at home and Julian who is done with school tomorrow. 

Tips are automatic which is a good thing for the crew but we are going to extra tip a few.  Vladimir (his real name is Nenad) who the first day, when I asked for a little more coffee, poured a thimble in my cup and said is that enough?  Funny at the time but he did it every time I saw him and even had his fellow crew mates take part.  I am glad the wine steward was not his friend.   By the way, the wine and drink guys are awesome.  Not because they are good people but because they literally wear a gold cup necklace around their necks so you know they are drink people. 

Dinner on time with no issues and got our table for 6/8 with only a few dirty looks.  The wine guy must have been a trainer because he had the full costume of the other wine guys but no drink necklace   My cigar guys taught me a trick which was to order a double martini as they are stingy on the drinks as well.  The wine guy was a little miffed that my dad brought his own bottle with him and could not figure out what to do.  Luckily, we figured it out.  I scored an a+ tonight and solid A for the cruise.  I have decided to give Jen a solid A for her behavior on the cruise as well.  

A shout out to my baby below, Dora and her iconic picture-"smoke em if you got em" from 4 years ago.  I cannot wait to snuggle her and my baby Lupe when I get home tomorrow   Oh, and of course my kids.  

Also, no spills for Jen the entire cruise.  Wow!  

I am taking a break from my blog over the holidays but will re start on my next trip to Argentina in February with Mickey and Nancy-Should be interesting to say the least.