The bird watcher

Up at the crack of my ass for a tour to the national park.   Got a quick bite to eat and into our Chinese Mercedes Mini Van with 8 others and our tour guide, Vladimir.  He was a teacher of English that converted to a tour guide for better pay.  Great guy who pointed out every plant and bird around (come to find out we signed up for a nature trip and thought we were going on a hiking trip).  At our fist stop, we got out and the bird watcher (know it all lady with huge binoculars around her neck) stepped in a huge, fresh warm pile of dog shit and did not even notice.  Maybe she should look down as much as she looks up. 

Saw awesome falls and pools that were 30 degrees and people swim in them to “celebrate” the Cuban way.  We did not swim and even though a bunch of people did swim, we found out they were from Norway.  We fell asleep in the van both ways but had a great time.  The tour guide kept pointing out how beautiful the houses the rich people live in and how nice they were.  I asked him if he was ever in the US and he said he never left the country.  I felt mixed emotions because my house would have been nicer then Fidel Castro’s house here but they do not know any better.  It’s like someone that is not really smart but doesn’t know they are not smart.  Do they live a better life, not knowing? 

Got home and did about 40 laps on the top deck and ran into the bird watcher, who still had a pile of shit on her foot.  Missed Mom, Dad, Bill and Diane today as they went on a different trip.  We are meeting for dinner at 730 but they have an exclusive party we are not invited to before.  Probably a free drink involved.   I almost hosted my own twilight party catered in my room to be exclusive but decided to just write my blog and smoke a Cuban.  Met a couple of fellow smokers and compared notes about cigars while writing.  Nice evening and I will now go down and wake up Jen for dinner. 

Dinner was 3 hours tonight and really great again.  Sprite zero in the can and 12 courses of Italian food.  There were 22 different types of oil and vinegar for the bread.  We had a great time before dinner at our "private" party in our stateroom that no one was invited to except me and Jen.  It was unbelievable.  It was fun being on the other side of a Jen vs. Coddington debate on statues and the confederate flag when I had no skin in the game.  I see how her mind works and why I am usually apologizing at the end of the night but not tonight.  I would say I could get lucky but I have a lot of obstacles to still overcome.  Anyway, we closed the restaurant once again and had a great night.  The crew all told me they were all off the recored for the rest of the cruise but I am a writer and will not allow this.  Tomorrow we land at 12 noon and going on same excursion so we will have a great time.  

Oh, one more thing.  Every time we leave our room, Jen is look out and I steal the chocolate from the carts.  Last night we got caught but tonight we scored heavily with 12 pieces.   Also, they put a towel on our floor each night which I think is for praying but Jen does not agree with me about.  I am going to ask tomorrow.